Regulation

The thermostat metaphor

Think of your child's nervous system as a thermostat with three zones — too cold (under-aroused, sluggish, can't engage), just right (alert and available), and too hot (overstimulated, big feelings, meltdown).

Regulation is the process of getting back to 'just right'. Some kids self-regulate naturally. Many kids — especially neurodivergent kids — need outside help (co-regulation) to get there.

What dysregulation actually looks like

It's rarely a tantrum. Watch for:

• Quick switches in mood that don't match the moment.
• Avoidance — refusing to do something that yesterday was fine.
• Big emotional reactions to small triggers.
• Going limp / 'tuning out' / spacing out.
• Aggression toward siblings or self.

The fastest path back

Three things almost always help:

• Movement — heavy work, big body activity, jumping.
• Pressure — a long hug, a weighted blanket, deep squeezes.
• Connection — your calm presence (this is the big one).